Keepin' Track...

Sunday, February 6, 2011

So I didn't completely fall off the wagon...

 Nope. Instead, I took a running leap off, turned around, strapped a shit load of C-4 to it & blew the fucker into oblivion.

Le sigh... I spent the weekend indulging in pizza & ice cream & sugar soda. Somehow, I managed to only gain about 2.5 lbs... I have no idea how that's all I gained. o_O

And to think that if I'd not blown up my wagon, I'd probably be be closer to 215 than 225... Ah well... Back to building a new wagon...

I weighed in a few days ago at 221, and then this morning at 223.6. My whole body kinda feels like shit from all the bad food though... ick.

Going to haul myself up by the bootstraps though & get back to eating good food. I bought a raw food recipe book the other day after paging through it & drooling all over the tasty sounding recipes. I mean really, after all that drool covering the book, how could I just put it back on the shelf? XD

So tonight, in between studying for my microbiology test that's tomorrow, I'll be paging through the book again & picking out recipes I want to try. Then tomorrow I'll go grocery shopping for my ingredients. I am excited. ^-^

I'll also be buying a blender tomorrow, as I accidentally killed the last one we had... or maybe Britt killed it. I really can't remember, but it's kinda a moot point. Dead is dead.

Well then. Off to take something for this headache (probably need coffee...) and then get going on my to do list. I'm anticipating that my next update will not include demolished wagons...

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Good Morning... evening... whatever...

Sooooo... I don't really have much of an update... but I figured I'd post a wee bit anyways. Phase 1 of SBD is going well so far. It's not nearly as difficult this time as the first time I tried it. I am pleased. ^-^

I'm going on a walk with the missus as soon as I'm done eating my salad. Hopefully, the walk will help de-stress me... I hate getting stressed out over money. Money is the bane of my existence. I loathe it. Anywho. I think a walk around Boulevard Park will be just the thing to chill me the fuck out. The ocean has a wonderful effect on me like that. ^-^

I went to the doctor yesterday & asked to have my citalopram dose upped. It's worked some since I started taking it several weeks ago, but I'm still having trouble doing what I love to do. I want to get more exercise, but not being able to get my ass outta bed makes that difficult. I'll be taking the middle dose now, 40 mg. I'm hoping that this is the kick in the brain I need to help me out, because I don't really want to add another medication if I don't have to. I know I won't have to take this forever, but I'm willing to do what I have to in order to help myself get my shit together & make it through school. So here's hoping this works.

Another thing that I think will have a positive effect on my life is that I've chosen a word for 2011. My word is Thrive, and I'm trying to keep it in mind at all times... especially when I'm feeling like shit. I think that by trying to find ways to help myself thrive, I'll be combating my depression from another side. Go me. ^-^

Alrighty... I think the hard boiled eggs should be cool enough to go peel & add to my salad, so I can eat. Then off for a walk, as long as it's not pouring... maybe even if it is. We'll see.

Thursday, January 20, 2011


My plan of action is this:

I'm going to go with something I not only know works, but also something that's healthy. All the psycho diets, tricks & supplements are not for me. I'm aiming for overall HEALTH, not just trying to lose weight. Losing weight is definitely a huge part of gaining overall health & well being, but it's not the most important part. Not by a long shot.
So of all the diets, eating plans, etc. I've checked out, the most sensible is the South Beach diet. I'm not required to buy special product, starve myself or drink weird shit. Awesome. I won't die of a heart attack or get 'Atkins attitude' from completely depriving myself of carbs, either. XD

Several months ago, my Nurse Practitioner actually directed me to the SBD. She told me to just check it out & see what I thought about it. I'm hyper critical of all diet trends, and this was no exception. At first I wanted no part of it, as you almost totally cut out carbs for two weeks to kick the carb addiction. But then, as I read through the book that was written by the MD who came up with the idea for SBD, I changed my mind. Not all carbs are cut out, but only the bad ones. The human body needs carbs, but not the type or the massive amount most people, especially Americans, consume.
So I gave this way of eating a try for about two months along with exercise. There are three phases. Phase 1 lasts two weeks & is by far the toughest at first. I love pasta & bread... and to not be able to eat these things for two weeks seemed like torture.
About this time, I realized I was addicted to my carbs, so that gave me more will power to stick with my new way of eating. I lost about 35 lbs with my two weeks of Phase 1 & 6 weeks of Phase 2. And then I promptly fell of the wagon. Story of my life... le sigh.

So back onto a new wagon I climb. I'm taking the SBD principles & starting Phase 1 tomorrow (payday... as the only Phase 1 food I have in my house at the moment is almonds...), and between that & exercise, I know things will improve quickly. ^-^

I'm also going to ask my ARNP to up my dose of citalopram. When she & I talked last, she offered to raise the dose, but I declined, wanting to try adding exercise first. But I'm still having a hell of a time doing anything, especially getting to the gym. Or outside. Or... anything. She told me that even though I've noticed a change in my mood since starting my medication about a month & a half ago, if I'm not feeling 100%, there's still tweaking that needs to be done.

So, I'm going to call her now & then make a grocery list for tomorrow. ^-^

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

And GO!

And I'm off! Off, once again, on another weight loss journey. This time, I'm aiming for success.

How will I measure the ever elusive "Success"? I'm not completely sure. Probably a combination of pounds shed, fitness levels achieved & over all improvement to my health.

I am aiming for more than just a number on the scale. I want to be able to jog & run without the extra weight giving me so much knee pain. I want to be able to hike the trails I love & not feel like I'm dying. I do not want to get winded walking up the one flight of stairs to my apartment. I want to be healthy, as it is one of the keys to my happiness.

I'm also hoping that with better physical health, my mental health will also improve. I am tired of being depressed all the time. I take a small dose of citalopram, which does help a bit, but I'm still depressed a lot. I want to have energy to do the things I love & I want to have over all health & well being, so I can do them for many, many years to come.

What prompted me to once again try & get my shit together? THIS article inspired me. Read it, it's worth it. ^-^

I also feel held back by my weight. Even just the simple act of wearing heels makes my knees ache... I didn't used to have that problem... I'm tired all the time & don't want to DO anything. Actually, there's all sorts of stuff I want to do, but I just can't seem to get myself to do it. It's really frustrating.

So. What am I going to DO about it? I'm  going to do what I know works. Eat healthy, properly portioned foods & EXERCISE.

Want to know what just kills me? I'm not one of those people who hate the gym. I LOVE the gym! It's getting myself to go that's the kicker... It's ridiculous.

But I'm going to go back to my gym with Britt & Heather (my partner & good friend, respectively), and start swimming with Britt.

Now for good news! My new swim suit came yesterday! =D Britt was super sweet & wonderful (as always...) and got us new suits so we can swim laps! Her old suit got too big (go baby go!) & mine is too small & not made for really swimming in... It's cute though... ahem. Back on topic! We got real swim suits now, so all we gotta do is go! ^-^

I'm not totally sure what I plan to write here, or how often I want to post. Once a week at least, I think, and more if I feel the desire. I'm going to weigh myself this evening after I get up, so that will be in my next post! I'm also going to get a weight loss meter thingy... like the kind on the Three Fat Chicks web site.

Well then... I think that this is all for my first post. I'm excited to be working toward a happier, healthier me.